0k4y, n@w u now some l33t sp34k, we can t34ch you some h@xoring skillz. U need to learn how to do pingz and stuff like that cause DOS stuff. U should be uzing windowz 95 or 98 cause theyt are the l33test of all. there used to be a windows 3.x, but because it had an x in the name, it was ruled illegal because someone thought it prevented you from getting pr0n. Thats another haxors rule! You have to get lots and LOTS OF PRON! (thats porn for all of you who have not learned any l33t sp34K) Every true super haxor has lots of porn. You cant just get one picture you keep under your bed next to your Playboy, but you have to get 3 or 4 disks and keep them on your computer, even if other people yse your computer! Other haxors will sometimes conenct to your comptuer and look at your porn, so you have to keep it there. Back to your operating system. If you are super extra l33t, you can run Windowz NT, but you have to complain allthe time because of this BSOD stuff. I have never used this WIndowz NT stuff, but it is supposed to be really good and really l33t. I dont know what a BSOD thing is, but maybe it is a keyboard shortcut. The only people who use this Windowz NT also drive Linux Cars. Its a really cool car from Sweden, made by Torvaldes but I have never heard of them. It is a good car though. If someone asks you about a UNIX, it is just a rumor and a test by other l33t h@xors to make sure you are one of us. you have to answer "Microsoft is good! AOl is better!"

Which brings us to our next topic. You need to get a really good 'net conenction from AOL. They have all kinds of chat rooms, and you can find pr0n and other cool stuff too. Do you have lots of pr0n yet? Send me some! My mommy gets mad when I get it, and took away my ability to surf the web from AOL. Now I have to go over to my friends house, but he doesnt let me download it. So send me urs!

OK now that you have Windowz 95, the l33test OS and AOL the l33test ISP (I dotn know what that stands for) you can start learning how to DOS thats distributed something service 4 those who dont know thats how Yahoo was taken down a while ago every computer in the world has this DOS stuff all you have to do is go into the start menu and then click onthe DOS stuff up wil lcome comething like "c:\" but dont worry tehre are all kinds of stuff you could do like c:\con\con but I do not know much else we are going to use the most l33t, secret tool EVER! YOU CAN NEVER TELL ANYONE ABOUT THIS SECRET THING BECAUSE ONLY L33T H@XORS CAN USE IT OKAY NOW? I AM GOING TO STOP YELLING RIGHT NOW there, I will not yell anymore. now you have to type ping but it wont work unless you can get what is called an IP address. There is a real super hacker who knew kevin before he went to jail and he keeps a big computer conencted to the internet all the time he must have a really big phone bill but he doesnt care if people DOS or hackor it you can ping it at 127.0.0.1 and then you will DOS him or something like that that is the first thing you canb do to be a real hacker! Keep doing it for a long time and eventually the computer will be overloaded!

There are some other cool leet things you can do. You can get Warez which are illegal programs that are really fun because they are free unless you have to go out and buy them, but if you buy them, then they are not realyl free. You have to have a really fast conenction like 56 K The lower the number K, the better, because it takes that number of seconds to transfer one K. My 14.4 is alot faster than a 56 K! Some really old modems like the 9600 and the 240 are really really slo, so make sure you complain about them, even if you have never seen one, because if you mention it, then everyone will think you are a way old haxor and you will be Old Skool instead of new skewl.

You can also get a cool haxor program called Trojan Sub Seven, because it is reall good. I use TSS because I can do lots of stuff with it. There is another one called Backorface 4.0 that is lots better than Trojan Sub Seven, but someone told me that in order to use it right you had to put something in your back orface (your butt hole) I tried and it hurt! He said you have to use soemthing like vasaline so it doesnt hurt any more, but my brother and his girlfriend used allthe vasaline. They said soemthing about going off to do the horizonatal dance mumbo jumbo or somethign. i think they just wanted to keep me from being a l33t haxor.

L33t Instructions Part 2