I can't take credit for this original piece, but I will post it here for posterity.

Computer Problem Report Form
1- Describe your problem:
2- Now, describe the problem accurately:
3- Now, speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
4- Problem Severity:
a.  Minor
b.  Minor
c.  Minor
d. Trivial
5- Nature of the problem:
a.  Locked Up
b.  Frozen
c.  Hung
d.  Strange Smell
6- Is your computer plugged in?	Yes No
7- Is it turned on?	Yes No
8- Have you tried to fix it yourself?	Yes No
9- Have you made it worse?	Yes
10- Have you had "a friend" who "Knows all about computers" try to fix it for you?	Yes No
11- Did they make it even worse?	Yes
12- Have you read the manual?	Yes No
13- Are you sure you've read the manual?	Maybe No
14- Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual?	No
15- If you read the manual, do you think you understood it?	Yes No
16- If 'Yes' then explain why you can't fix the problem yourself.
17- What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?
18- If you answered 'nothing' then explain why you were using it?
19- Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem?	Yes No
20- Does the clock on your home VCR blink 12:00?	Yes What's a VCR?
21- Do you have a copy of 'PCs for Dummies'?	Yes No
22- Do you have any independent witnesses to the problem?	Yes No
23- Do you have any electronics products that DO work?	Yes No
24- Is there anyone else you could blame this problem on?	Yes No
25- Have you given the machine a good whack on the top?	Yes No
26- Is the machine on fire?	Yes Not Yet
27- Why are you still filling in this form?	I want a prize

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